words are the cheapest currency
believe them when they show you who they are
a couple months back, i wrote about some lessons on love. i thought that was all the lessons i had, but i thought wrong.
i used to think that when someone told you who they were, you should listen.
but words are the cheapest currency there is. they cost nothing to produce.
words are free and that’s exactly what they’re worth.
everyone controls their own mint. every time you say something and don’t follow through, you devalue your own currency. every broken promise is inflation. and eventually, no matter how beautiful the words are, they’re worthless — because the person receiving them has watched the exchange rate drop to zero.
instead, believe them when they show you who they are.
because sometimes, they unintentionally overpromise. it’s easy to make concessions early on when you’re getting to know someone, and make excuses for someone you like.
your partner is the only person in your family that you get to choose
you don’t choose your parents. you don’t choose your siblings.
but your partner, you do.
so pick well. not just for yourself, but for the life you’re building and the kids who will one day depend on the foundation you’ve laid.
when life gets hard (which it will), that’s where you really see them. watch how someone faces their battles and watch what crutches they reach for.
watch whether they do the work or just talk about doing the work while reaching for whatever numbs the edges enough to get through another day.
some people choose substances. some choose workaholism. some choose charm. all of it is avoidance wearing different outfits.
how someone treats themselves is also a measure of how they will treat you
a person who numbs their own pain will inevitably numb yours. a person who avoids their own growth will eventually avoid yours. a person who can’t sit with their own discomfort will never sit with yours.
it’s not cruelty. it’s limitation. and limitations are not something you can love someone out of.
showing up for someone else requires having first shown up for yourself
a person who hasn’t done their own work can’t hold space for yours.
they’ll try. they’ll say the right things. but the execution won’t follow because they’re running on empty.
the highest form of love is not passion, intensity, grand gestures or words that make your heart race. it’s consideration.
it’s the quiet act of thinking about someone before they’ve asked you to. of remembering the small things. of adjusting your day because they matter to you. of showing up not because it’s convenient, but because you said you would.
consideration is execution, and choosing to show up even when it’s tough.
and it’s the rarest thing in the world.
i used to get mad or disappointed when people didn’t show up when they said they would.
but at a certain point, you stop. not because you’ve lowered your bar, but because you realize that everyone is on their own journey. everyone is battling something you can’t see and may never fully understand.
their inability to show up for you says everything about where they are and nothing about what you’re worth
life is absurdly short.
so spend your days with people who make you want to enjoy it more. people who add to your life, and make you feel calm and safe.
you’re rich when you have the safety of knowing someone will be there when they say they’ll be there. because life is already ridiculously hard. you don’t need a partner who makes it harder. you need someone who makes the hard stuff feel survivable, and even better, fun.
because at the end of the day, life is as fun as you make it.
the formula for a good life
it’s simpler than we think: choose well for yourself. move your body. eat well. be with good people.
surround yourself with the ones who don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers, who enjoy the journey instead of just grinding toward the destination.
maybe that sounds like a privilege. and maybe it is. but it’s also a perspective shift. the kind you can choose at any point, from anywhere, with whatever you have. a good life isn’t something that happens to you. it’s something you build, one small decision at a time.
at a certain point, you can’t keep blaming your traumas
you’ve identified them. you’re high performing, high functioning, and self-aware enough to name every pattern you have. so the excuse expires.
knowing your wounds is not the same as healing them. do the work. choose better. not because you deserve it in theory, but because you’re the only one who can actually make that choice.
look up
life is so rich and so much bigger than what’s right in front of you. the city you’re in, the person you’re texting, the apartment you’re sitting in at midnight wondering why someone didn’t show up. there is so much more beyond that window. and the right person won’t make you stare at your phone. they’ll make you want to look up.
find the one who makes you look up.
Hi Rachael, I loved this! Needed to hear what you had to say in this post. Thank you for sharing!!